It's Okay to Not Be Okay: K-Drama Tackles Mental Health Issues
“An extraordinary road to emotional healing opens up for a selfish antisocial children’s book writer and a selfless psych ward caretaker when they cross paths.”
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay (Netflix)
This one took me a bit to get into. I didn’t even make it halfway into the first episode before I turned it off. I just couldn’t follow or connect. Maybe it was because it started out with an animated clip. But I kept hearing everyone say it was good so a couple of months later I committed to watching past episode one and sure enough I was hooked. I don’t know if anyone’s tears move me quite like Kim Soo-Hyun even though he has some stiff competition in Hyun Bin and Park Seo-Jun. If you don’t cry when he is, you may want to check to see if you have a heart.
Another K-drama that touches on subjects generally considered to be tabu. Mental health and mental illness. The second lead is an autistic character played by Oh Jung-Se. He. Is. Amazing. Seo-Yea-Ji will have you loving her and hating her—which means she’s doing something right. The chemistry between Moon Gang-Tae and Ko Moon-Young is undeniable.
It’s a drama, it’s a mystery, it’s a romance. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll question life. You’ll like it. On second thought. You’ll love it.
Which actor is also in 2020’s The King: Eternal Monarch?
Which actor is known for playing a mom in many K-dramas?
Which actor has a cameo appearance in Crash Landing On You?
Released: June 2020, Episodes: 16
Cast: Kim Soo-Hyun (Moon Gang-Tae), Seo Yea-Ji (Ko Moon-Young), Oh Jung-Se (Moon Sang-Tae), Full Cast
[Update 10/13/23] SPOILER ALERT: This may contain more info than what you want to know if you haven’t already watched so proceed cautiously if you don’t want spoilers. As I rewatched this series with my daughter Taylor I was surprised that what stuck out to me the second time around was completely different than the first time.
I originally wrote this review post in August of 2020. The first time I watched I had a hard time getting into the drama (as I mentioned above) but once I was able to get past episode one I never looked back.
As I was watching again with my (adult) daughter, even from early on I was uncomfortable with what I was seeing. I remember liking it so I was confused. Why didn’t the second time around sit the same with me as it did the first time?
Oh Jung-Se who plays the role of Moon Sang-Tae, the autistic older brother of Kim Soo-Hyun’s character Moon Gang-Tae is hands down still the best part of this K-drama. Kim Soo-Hyun and Seo Ye-Ji also play their parts perfectly.
But the character of Ko Moon-Young can’t be described as anything less than toxic and abusive when it comes to her interactions with people. Yes, there are extenuating circumstances as to why Ko Moon-Young is the way she is, but does that give toxic abusive behavior a pass? What are we supposed to think when we see her hoping that Gang-Tae will let Sang-Tae drown? And why has Gang-Tae spent his life feeling guilty for running away from her when he saw her torturing butterflies by tearing them apart by the wings?
The fact Moon Gang-Tae is drawn to her despite her abhorent behavior is disturbing. But also, how could I have been so oblivious the first time I watched this drama? If we package it beautifully does it blind us to reality?
We all know once you’re past the infatuation stage the blinders come off. When it comes to mental health, the last thing Moon Gang-Tae needs in his life is someone as toxic and possessive as Ko Moon-Young. Gang-Tae needs someone understanding and caring, not selfish, abusive, and needy. Ko Moon-Young needs a therapist—not a boyfriend.
If a man behaved the way Ko Moon-Young does toward Moon Gang-Tae we wouldn’t stand for it. Not only does she cross many boundaries (physical and emotional), she won’t take no for an answer (stalker). Much of her behavior can only be described as abusive. To the writer’s credit, many of the other characters call her out for what she is but we need to be honest that we as viewers will give a pass to a lot when it’s cloaked in beauty (or handsomeness) just like Moon Gang-Tae does.
The straw that broke the camel’s back for Taylor and me is the scene when Sang-Tae sees Moon-Young with the doll Gang-Tae made for him. First of all, Gang-Tae would never have given that to Moon-Young. He of all people knows his brother best and even before knowing the backstory of the doll, we knew that was not a plausible storyline for this character. Gang-Tae then witnesses the fact that Moon-Young is so selfish she physically battles Sang-Tae for the doll. But we’re supposed to believe he would take her side and convince Sang-Tae to give up his beloved possession to a selfish, narcissistic, adult woman? Sorry, but the fact it was a pillow fight does not soften the underlying meaning—especially once the doll’s head is ripped off. If there is a man who shows as horrible judgment as Moon Gang-Tae, then I say run. I don’t care how beautiful he is. Run away as fast as you can. Unfortunately, I gave Moon Gang-Tae a pass the first time around because I was so enamored with Kim Soo-Hyun.
The title of this post says IOTNBO tackles mental health issues. I was wrong. It actually ignores a lot of important things when it comes to dealing with mental health. One of the most outrageous things was having Ko Moon-Young give a class at the mental hospital. I’m supposed to believe a toxic abusive person would be asked to lead an ongoing class for mental health patients just because she’s a bestselling author? Then after canceling that class for bad behavior at the mental health facility, they would reinstate her because Moon Gang-Tae wanted to help bolster her emotional state?
Not sure where my head was the first time I watched this because the second time everything was glaring. In the middle of episode eight Taylor said she just couldn’t go on. And honestly, I was relieved.
I get that It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is not real. But when you’re tackling mental illness and mental health I am NOT okay with justifying toxic abusive behavior for the sake of romance. Even for a fairytale that’s asking too much—because we know there is no way there can be a happy ending.
Have you seen this K-drama? What did you think? Am I being too harsh?
